Caregiver Exhaustion
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I am tired and exhausted. Caregiving is the hardest thing I’ve endured in my life. Caregiving for a spouse with Young Onset Alzheimer’s and taking one long day at a time.
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Caregiving Wife Confessions
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Confessions of a caregiver wife. I don’t want to paint a rosy picture, because the calm I exude today has been a long time in coming.
Read MoreCaregiving - One thing I’ve Learned about Grief
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I thought once I had grieved for a year over the loss of relationship as my husband slipped away with young onset alzheimer’s, I wouldn’t be so sad. But, the grief is daily and ongoing.
Read More3 Ways a Caring Bridge Journal Can Help Caregivers
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As my husband’s early onset Alzheimer’s disease progressed, I found that people were afraid to “bother” me, so I set up an invitation only Caring Bridge journal, so people could catch up and know what to pray for and how to help.
Read MoreDon't Wish Away the Days - Early Onset Alzheimer’s
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I have to work on this mindset every single day. It’s so easy to think if only the days got easier, I would be happier. Don’t get me wrong, this is a struggle. It’s not something I excel at.
Read MoreSteps I'm Taking for Caregiver Respite - Early Onset Alzheimer's
/Here are a few steps I took to get some respite time away from full-time caregiving for my husband with early onset Alzheimer’s.
Read MoreCaregiver Respite - Early Onset Alzheimer's
/In the early days of my husband’s early onset alzheimer’s disease, I couldn’t see how the strain of full-time caregiving was affecting me, physically and mentally. I didn’t take any respite time, because I thought “I was okay.”
Read MoreEarly Onset Alzheimer's - Caregiver Emotions
/As a caregiving wife to a husband with early onset Alzheimer’s, I have been shocked at just how many different emotions that I’ve experienced in the last year alone. This book is a great devotional if you, too, are on an unexpected journey.
Read MoreEarly Onset Alzheimer's - Legal, Financial, and Longterm Planning
/Legal, financial and longterm planning required a lot of time after my husband’s diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer’s. Here are a few of the things we had to address while he was able to have input and sign.
Read MoreEarly Onset Alzheimer's - The Diagnosis
/In the first year of caregiving, I had so many feelings and emotions going on; Grief, anger, sadness, hopelessness, irritation, frustration, loneliness. Of all the things that I was feeling, the hopelessness was probably the hardest to come to terms with.
Read MoreEarly Onset Alzheimer's - A Cruel Disease
/My husband was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease at age 59 and I’m sharing what it means to be a full-time caregiver for someone with this cruel disease.
How many times did I tell my boys when they would come crying to me about something that wasn’t fair, “You know, life isn’t fair.”
I have put off blogging about this part of our story. But, a friend said that maybe someone is searching the internet, the way I, as the spousal caregiver, have done, looking for answers and comfort.
So, let’s get one thing straight right away. Early onset Alzheimer’s, typically diagnosed before age 65, isn’t fair. It strikes quite a blow. It hurts everyone around the person with Alzheimer’s. I don’t know of any kind diseases, but Early Onset Alzheimer’s is a cruel disease for sure.
I still don’t know how I’m going to organize these posts about our Alzheimer’s experience, but I think starting with a little about us pre-diagnosis, is a good beginning.
This August will be our 37th anniversary.
But, dementia has already stolen our relationship. For the last 10 years, my husband has been afraid that he would end up with Alzheimer’s. His dad had age related or late onset dementia, probably Alzheimer’s. And his brother had Lewy Bodies dementia. There was no reason to believe that it was inevitable for Dave. His doctor would test him from time to time and he had a little forgetfulness, but it really looked more like he was just not paying as much attention to details. He went on like this for 8 years.
We continued traveling, going on marriage cruises and mission trips. Everything seemed just fine. Until it wasn’t. In 2018, according to my journal, he was getting slower to respond when he was driving. I reasoned it away, blaming my own nervousness as a passenger in the car. But, I was concerned enough, that I postponed our goal to buy an RV. Dave had always driven on our road trips, sometimes letting me drive when he got really tired, but that wasn’t often. But, on one trip, he started reacting by doing the opposite of the directions I would give, if I didn’t say them well in advance. I would tell him to turn left, and he would turn right. Naturally, my instinct was to ask him if he just wasn’t listening to me. This happened over and over, so I started preparing miles ahead of time to make sure he was in the correct lane when it was time to turn.
There were other little things over the next 2 years, that would just puzzle me. He’d go out to fix something and choose the wrong tools or materials. He would map destinations in town that were well known stops for us. He was hiding things.
Thanksgiving Day, 2020. Our family feast wasn’t until that Saturday, so I got up early to take advantage of a day in the studio that we had been working on. I was having such a wonderful morning, sewing and listening to music. I could hear Dave coming and going, in and out, lots of doors opening and closing, but I figured he was just being productive. Then, I heard him tell one of our sons on the phone, that he was leaving for Texas, that we were getting divorced.
I stopped what I was doing and went and asked him what he had said? He looked at me and said, “we talked about it last night.” And all the doors opening and closing, while I was blissfully creating in my studio, were him packing up as much as he could in the pickup.
I was confused and hurt. I couldn’t figure out what he was talking about. My sons all came home and there were tears and hugs and Dave agreed to wait until we talked to our marriage coach, which we did the following Monday. During that consultation, I was urged to get Dave to his doctor as soon as possible. His doctor ordered testing with a neuropsychologist, who along with Dave’s doctor agreed that he had moderate dementia, probably Alzheimer’s type.
That’s the short background. Dave’s actions were not ones that he would have taken had his brain been functioning normally. We all know that now.
Anne