Procrastination is emotional more than time management

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When the boys were little, my most stressful times were when we were getting ready to go somewhere. And specifically, the every day or repeat trips, like church, homeschool science class, and music lessons, were the hardest. Trips to see Grandma were stressful because of the long miles in the car, but because they were more an event, we planned weeks in advance, started gathering supplies and putting them in one place, sometimes even pre-packing. Because we were excited.

I remember Sunday mornings having the greatest chance of fighting and anxiousness. Why? Because, we waited until Sunday morning to find clothes, pack diapers, look for the Sunday school treats, and so on.

Before I go further, I still procrastinate. I didn’t solve my procrastination with this one thing, but it taught me something important.

One Saturday afternoon, I realized if I set out what the boys were going to wear Sunday morning, not just know in my head, but physically place those items where they would be ready, that would make my mom-life a little easier.

Now, you are reading this probably thinking, well, that’s a no-brainer. And it was or is. Setting out clothes to eliminate rushing around, trying to find stuff, and possibly getting tense and stressed because all the sudden, that one sock that you just have to have with those dress pants, is missing, is obvious. And yet, I felt like it was an epiphany at the time, when the boys were young. And the times going forward that I made sure they had what they needed the day before they needed it, was incredibly calming. I still had to fight with my internal habit of putting it off because I had other things I wanted to do, but I would remind myself how much better I felt.

I often put off those things that I perceive will not feel good. Like getting my tax paperwork in order. I know, everyone knows, if you wait until January of the following tax year, to start looking for receipts, invoices, bank records, investments, you will be tired, stressed, irritated and worse yet, probably miss out on some tax write-offs because you didn’t keep your paperwork tidy. And yet, I did that very thing, year after year, until a counselor helped me see why I was procrastinating and how to shift my mindset. I’m far from perfect in my filing today, but getting tax paper work together for the accountant each new year, takes me hours, instead of weeks. It wasn’t a time management issue, it was an emotional issue.

I try to teach this to my sons, even now, as adults, but, I think as I did , they will have to discover it for themselves, because I’m Mom, and so far I still don’t know much because my sons are between 19-26.

Any time one of my sons or hubs has some place important to be the next day, I try to nudge them to get ready the night before; have the cooler ready, set out your socks, wash your work clothes the afternoon before instead of waiting until midnight. I nudge. They say, yes, I will get it ready. Then, the next morning, feathers are flying. Where’s this? Why isn’t this where it should be? I’m going to be late.

And all the sudden, it becomes my emergency. Moms…this is not the time for teaching. You’ll just get more frustrated. Trust me, it will fall on deaf ears or cause an argument, if you try to teach during the crisis.

I know from looking back, when the boys were young, the most likely time I would blow my cork, was due to procrastination.

I have so many examples of this in my life, it's crazy. Take for instance, company coming. Do I clean the week before, at a calm pace, or do I wait until the day before or the day of, and start cramming things in the closet or under the bed, and end up a hot, sweaty mess, putting on a fake smile, as they walk up to the door? The examples are so numerous, just from my life, that I could probably fill lots of pages in my journal.

My son and I go round and round on “getting ready.” Let me just tell you, moms, he and I have different definitions of ready. Ready for me, is having stuff set out, for the intended purpose. Ready for him is knowing that somewhere we have it. Our definitions do not match, and when I expect him to be “my kind of ready,” and he’s not, we get into a non-loving space, because all the sudden, in order for him to make his deadline, I feel like I have to put aside what I am doing and help him.

This morning was one of those times. He left for his thing, and I sat down, feeling defeated and stressed. The answer is probably outside in my garden or foraging for mulberries. Time to put on some sunscreen, water the garden before the heat of the day, and talk to God. Perhaps I should do some extra gratitudes as well!

Your friend,
Anne Dovel - The Fit Quilter

To be a better Noticer

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I had an appointment in town today. I was due for another A.R.T. session on my shoulder that I yanked pulling a garden hose while driving my golf cart too fast. But, that’s a story for another day.

I hesitate to share this, because I’m not looking for pats on the back. I want you to see this as an urging to be a noticer. Open your eyes, and look around you.

I pulled up and parked my car. As I walked to the door of the office building, I noticed an elderly gentleman leaning on his cane, about 5 feet from the corner of a surgery building. I’m sure he expected me to walk by. But, I stopped, the socially acceptable 6 feet away, and asked if I could help him.

He was clearly in a lot of pain, and said his wife was pulling the pickup around. I took a step away, and saw the pickup. The man, still stood there. I motioned to the pickup, and asked if I could open the door. “Yes, please.” He hesitated and I asked, is there anything else I can do for you? “Could you help me get to the door?’ Of course. And I walked over, and offered him my arm.

He held onto my arm, and we walked to the pickup. His wife thanked me. And then, he put his hand on mine, for just a few seconds.

And, I’ve thought about that moment all day long. How that moved me. How I would have missed that connection, had I been looking down. And, it also made me remember just how powerful touch can be.

I’ve learned, ever since the day I talked my husband into staying at the camp instead of kayaking with the family, that the spirit prompts us, if we will listen. My husband passed out 15 minutes after my family left for the river, and he ended up needing a pacemaker, after a long helicopter ride.

I had thought about changing my own appointment today, staying home. But, something compelled me to keep it. And my gut said, there’s a reason; listen to the prompting. I believe that the spirit prompts us all the time, but we are too busy, or life is too loud to hear it. And I’m not saying that I was needed there because someone needed my arm. But, I think I needed the reminder that the enemy wants me to swim in fear, the kind of fear that locks me up inside, so I don’t notice hurting people; so I worry only about my own well-being.

I needed to feel that soft touch on my hand, from another human, after so many weeks of isolation. We need each other.

Your friend,

Anne Dovel - The Fit Quilter

Simply Sourdough

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It’s not my first time baking bread or even sourdough, for that matter. But, I hadn’t had a good starter for a very long time, and even then, it yielded good bread, but with the addition of yeast.

The short of it is, I wanted to get back to baking sourdough. The long of it is, I had other books, other blogs, stalked beautiful images of sourdough on Instagram and it was all so technical. I really just wanted to have a starter to feed, and bake bread without having to know exact hydration, for instance. I just wanted to bake bread with a sourdough starter.

This book, Wild Bread, was exactly what I was looking for. And I’m going to share my experience with it, in a series of hopefully, short posts.

And, then, I’ll share a simple method I’ve used over and over. I’ll try to share measurements for those of you who like to measure and I’ll share the size of my hand, for those of you who like to throw in a handful of this or that!

Your friend,

Anne Dovel - The Fit Quilter

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A stack of quilts to finish

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I took advantage of a rainy day, to pause on the outside work, and laid out some quilt tops that I’ve made. Six or 7 years ago, I started my first block-of-the-month quilt, and I’ll talk about why in another post, but here are 3 of them.

I could quilt edge to edge, but I’m in no hurry, so I’ll custom quilt them. Edge to edge is a single, repeating design over the entire quilt. It can be intricate or simple and the possibilities are endless. Custom quilting is like it sounds. As you might have guessed, custom quilting takes a lot more time.

And neither is more right than the other. As with all things quilting, you get to choose what works for you, what you have the time and budget for.

The funny thing I have discovered, on quilts with lots of prints or piecing, simple can be just as good; lines, grids, wavy lines. Once it’s washed, you don’t notice the quilting as much, as it gets that wonderful crinkly texture.

From left to right: Getting to Know Hue, Color Love, Judie’s Album Quilt

But, it’s a fun challenge, so these three quilts will be custom quilted.

And, I’m going to load the first one on the left, because I think I know how I want to start!

Have a great day,
Your Friend,
Anne Dovel - The Fit Quilter

T-shirt Yarn

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Long before we ran out of elastic, people were upcycling jersey t-shirts into a rolled “yarn” to use to make rugs, potholders, and to tie up tomato plants.

The annoying thing about sewing garments out of a jersey knit, is how it rolls up before you get it sewn together. That’s also the cool thing that makes it easy to turn into a cord.

Your friend,
Anne Dovel - The Fit Quilter