For the last 3.5 years of caregiving, I knew when early onset Alzheimer’s finally took Dave, it was likely that I would end up “right-sizing.” Downsizing is probably the term you are more familiar with. We had accumulated a lot of things, but I knew it wouldn’t serve me in the next chapter and season. I had to physically go through everything my husband had saved and stashed in his shop and barn, as well as my own stuff. It was difficult, sometimes heartrending and exhausting.

Ten years ago, it was a bold move for our family in 2014, to leave our house in town for 52 acres of native prairie, mature timber and a pond. The barnhouse and attached building, were a pretty big chunk for even the most adventurous of DIYers.

Armed with big dreams and years of experience fixing up our past homes, we dived into acreage ownership.

I loved walking in the woods, and around the prairie and had developed my own walking path around the 52 acres. We talked and dreamed about this being our last big move. Over the years, I got very attached, especially as we put the final touches on the renovation inside the house.

Our empty nest years were looming and we made plans for all the things we wanted to do with the house and land, even after our sons moved away.

I’m really glad we were bold enough to hope and dream, even if early onset dementia took us down a path we didn’t expect. I began the process of downsizing/rightsizing, even as I was caring for my husband who had early onset Alzheimer’s disease. I knew it was inevitable that I would sell my beloved land and move after my husband passed.

In the year following my husband’s passing, I worked every day to prepare my land and house for listing day. That day came, with hundreds of hours of sweat and lots of tears behind me.

Then, my place sold to a wonderful family. I still miss it, even though it has been 8 months since I handed over the keys.

You may face a similar journey if you are a caregiver for a spouse with dementia. I know what I write about here seems like I adjusted and adapted without any issues. But, I was scared and sad and sometimes angry that I had to downsize. No matter how much it made sense to let go of my dream acreage, it was one of the hardest life events I have gone through.

In another blog post, I will share some of things I did to mentally and physically prepare to release my property, so that I could move forward.

Until then,

Anne